I don’t care what you heard but I absolutely did not drop my pen in the process of falling asleep during the middle of my writing assessment class today. It is also not true that I ate two of my meals out today instead of eating the nutritious fruit I had brought in my lunch bag. And furthermore if anyone tells you that I ate half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream before going to bed you should not believe them. I would never do that. I also did not leave my book bag, lunch bag and drink in the student center with friends, saying I’d be right back, only to return over an hour later. And if anyone tells you that they saw me wasting time on the internet looking at wedding dresses and cakes with a friend they have mistaken me for someone else, I would never use valuable study time goofing off. I also did not tell my friend Melissa that she didn’t understand anything because her brain is underdeveloped. No, not me, I would never do any of those things. It is shocking that anyone would even think I was capable of of any of these acts, much less all of them in one day. I just thought I’d tell you in case you didn’t know.