There have been times in the past 5 years that I have felt like I have been stumbling through life in the dark. This is one of those times. I have experienced many emotions, however, the major emotion I have experienced has been disbelief. I find myself asking time and again, “how did I get to this place?” Recent years have found me traveling down winding, twisting, and sometimes scary paths.
I don’t want to lead you to believe that there has been only sorrow over this time. On the contrary, there have been many more good times than bad, the blessings I have experienced were exponentially more than the curses, and most of the time I have been very content where I have been.That is where the problem lies.
As a child of God I am not supposed to be content as I am. I am to desire to be better, to seek a closer relationship with my Savior. I am sorry to say that I have been so afraid of drowning that I have stayed in the boat instead of stepping out to a waiting Jesus. I have spent way too much time looking back and mourning things past. I have failed to reach out to those around me and instead occupied myself with other things. I have failed to seek Jesus’ view of my future.
The great news is that each day I am given a fresh start. Things will never be “normal” again in the way that they once were. My life has turned in a different direction. I have lost many close friends and loved ones along the way but I have also gained many new friends and have had some of the best experiences of my life.
Somehow we humans tend to think there is a point of arrival. We aim for a destination, get comfortable when we arrive and set up camp. The problem is that is not how life works. Life is a living, changing, evolving thing. Each day brings its own challenges and blessings. Things never stay the same; not for long anyway. After all, how much fun would that be anyway?