A couple of weeks ago when J went in to wake G this is what he found. Isn’t this the most precious sight? G will soon turn 7 years old. This birthday for some reason is going to be hard for me. He has changed so much in the past year, and I am thankful for all the progress he has made. He is no longer my baby, he is my little boy. Since there is such a big difference in my sons ages I know exactly how fast they grow up. G’s disability has allowed us to see him as a baby for far longer than we would have if he had been a typical child. I know it may sound strange, and even maybe selfish to some people, but in many ways I view his disability as a gift. While other children have been busy running away and growing independent at much younger ages, he has been content to sit and snuggle in his parent’s company. I have been his very best friend. His MommyWife. He loves me with a love that is deep and pure and I feel it everytime I look into his sweet face.
Have I missed him being typical? Yes. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. Every parent wants the best for their children. I am no different. Have I been angry? Yes. I have gone through brief moments through the years when I have been angry because my child has and will face many difficulties for his entire life. Did I grieve? Yes, every time I see a baby taking its first steps I rejoice for that child and I also mourn the fact that my child has never taken a step without some sort of aid. It breaks my heart when he says, “I wish I could ski but I don’t have any skis,” or “when I grow up I am going to be a dancer.” But, through every day of the past 7 years God has provided me the GRACE for that moment. He gave me a gift I did not deserve, a challenge I sometimes feel incapable of conquring and joy that I cannot explain with words.