For about the past year people have been asking me if I am having trouble dealing with my oldest son T graduating this year. Every time someone asks me that I am surprised and my answer is no–that is it was until last Saturday night. Our Saturday was filled with tons of activities as usual. Of course we had our usual projects and routine things to do like going to Wal-Mart. But this past Saturday we had to fit the Salvation Army into our day (my newest passion). After the trip to the Salvation Army store we headed to the park and the new environmental education building. That is where my brilliant husband thoought of as the place to take T’s Senior Prom photos. (It was supposed to rain)
Like I said up until that day I had not even had one worry about T graduating and leaving the nest. In fact I was fine all through the photos. After we finished with the photos we headed to Home Depot for some home improvement items. Still nothing. We came home and started on several weekend projects. Still fine. It hit me at about 8:00. I suddenly had a strong urge to talk to my firstborn son. I can’t explain the feeling but if you are a mom you know it. It is that overwhelming feeling you get that says, “You have to see your child, you need to hold them, and make sure they are okay.” To me it is a physical need to capture a moment with my child. A way to preserve a memory of a moment with my child. Much to the dismay of my husband this feeling has occured often in my children’s lives. I cannot tell you the number of nights I have spent snuggling up in a twin sized bed with each of my boys. My husband would rather me stay in our bed but he has always been understanding about the need I have to nurture my boys. T and I have spent many late nights curled up in front of the television watching The Nanny, The Golden Girls, Designing Women and whatever else we could find to watch. That was one of the greatest benefits to homeschooling. If we had a late night we would just sleep in and start school later than usual.
I don’t know what happened but suddenly I needed to speak to T. I knew it would probably not be well recieved for mom to call in the middle of his date so I resisted the urge to hear his voice and sent a text instead. I had been so busy that I didn’t take time to have that “These are the best times of your life speech” and I was suddenly overcome. I don’t do it often but I broke into uncontrollable tears. Poor J didn’t know what to think in fact I think he thought I had finally lost my mind. About that time I hear J say, “Hey, y’all come on in.” He looked in and said Trey is here. I jumped up and ran out of the room to try and compose myself. I don’t want to be the nut case boyfriend’s mom. I experienced a few of those and do not care to join that group myself.
T laughed at me, of course. He said, “I’m coming home tomorrow. I am not leaving home for good.” But he did give me a hug and let me cry on his shoulder a little. I can’t say for sure but for a split second I thought I caught a glimpse of my long lost dog behind that cranky old cat that took his place. Maybe it won’t be long until the cat is gone for good and my sweet doggie companion will once again be content to watch late night television with me. Well, at least I can dream.