I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few weeks. There are big changes occurring in my life. I recently graduated from college with a degree in Early Childhood Education. That is a milestone. It is a goal that I have had for a long time. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom for the past 19 years and devote myself to my family. I now feel that the time is right for me to achieve the goals that I have for myself. Well, I am now a graduate looking for a job. I loved the school thing, I love teaching, it is the transition that I am not crazy about.
I have blogged previously about my need to feel in control and know what is coming next in life. Well, excuse my poor grammar but life just ain’t that way. God is in control and as scary as it is not knowing what is coming it is also a huge blessing. I try to live in the moment that I am currently in without looking back or ahead too much. One day at a time is about all I can handle. I know that but I sometimes think “what is next?”
My stress level is at its highest when there are changes in motion. I suppose that is true for most people but mine is that way even when there are positive changes. I just don’t like CHANGE. I need routine. I thrive on routine. I always have a few days of adjustment time when my schedule changes very much. I get anxious when school ends and the summer with all its fun and excitement is laying before me. I get that way before a vacation. It is like that feeling I had as a child on the night before school started. I don’t know if anyone else had those feelings but I sure did. Excitement, nervousness, and uncertainty all rolled up in one.
The past few days have been some of the high stress days. Saturday was the official day I graduated even though I chose not to walk. Today when I arrived home I was feeling stressed and decided to read a few blogs to relax. I don’t even remember how I arrived at the blog I ended up on. All I can tell you is that God led me there. It was a divine appointment. The blog is the testimony of a little boy who suffers from a rare form of cancer. He is three years old and was diagnosed suddenly about 6-8 weeks ago. He is currently undergoing chemotherapy on a weekly basis. The story the mother tells is very touching. She and her husband have met many people throughout their journey and the stories of those people are even more heart wrenching than the story of their son Jedidiah.
I am deeply humbled tonight as I reflect on all of God’s blessings in my life. I have a wonderful, devoted husband. God blessed us with two amazing, healthy boys. Although my Sweet G has cerebral palsy he is a very healthy little boy. He has never really been sick and has not ever required an antibiotic in his 7 years of life. That is very rare in individuals with cerebral palsy. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We love and adore each other. We have so more than most people in the world will ever experience. So, tonight as I go to bed I am thinking about Jedidiah and praying for his healing. I am also thanking God for the abundance of blessings He has showered on me.